The Maiden Voyage

After nearly two years of dithering about, I finally took the plunge this weekend and bought myself a brand, spanking new bicycle. For the past month or so I've been spending seriously hunting around town on the weekends and after slogging through a host of stores that were either too big or too small, staffed with folks that were either unknowledgeable, unhelpful, or just plain odd, I finally found myself at Caps.

I think the last time I was there I was around 10 years old, back when I was more interested in BMXs than mountain bikes, and so I can perhaps be forgiven for not recalling straight off just how good they were. I think this was just about the only place I had been to all month where anyone had actually bothered to perform an actual needs analysis. Within 10 minutes of my arrival, I had managed to find someone who could give me real advice, supplied a range of choices, and even offered his own balanced recommendation. The prices were even better than I had found elsewhere. If you live anywhere near the Lower Mainland, skip yourself a world of hurt and just go here. It's located in an out of the way portion of New Westminster, which is bad in that it's inconveniently located, but good in that you don't have to hire an armed guard to accompany you from the distance between your car and the shop. Anyone acquainted with the Londsdale Quay region will know what I'm talking about.

I confess, I went a bit nuts on the accessories. Although my 33 liter Sakaroo(TM) paniers ARE in fact constructed entirely of 600 Deniers Polyester With PVC Coating To Increase Water Resistance and could probably stop a bullet, $75 was a bit much to spend compared to the half-priced nylon packs that held a good third more. But these just look so darned cool... and they have high molecular weight polyethylene plates... and there was a kangaroo on the front. I'm such a consumer whore.

As I excitedly bounded about the house in childlike glee over my new toy, my wife presciently sensed that I was likely to do damage to the house if I didn't find a way to work off my exuberance and so wisely suggested that I go out for a ride. And so, forgoing the bottle of champagne for fear of scratching the paint, on Sunday afternoon I launched my sparkling new Trek 4300 on her maiden voyage. And a beautiful day it was for cycling, being as it was a warmer than usual Vancouver spring afternoon with barely a cloud in the sky. I quickly suited up and charged off down Broadway. Lemme tell ya, they've done some amazing things with bicycles in the 12 years since my last purchase. This sucker flies. What with it being constructed entirely of Alpha Aluminum (which, as we all know, is infinitely superior to Beta or Gamma aluminum), it doesn't weigh 10 pounds. A good bloody thing too, as I quickly discovered that over the course of two years in drydock, my quads had managed to atrophy into what amounted to two withered bananas. Still, I immediately felt my purchase validated as I steadily trundled alongside an 18 wheeler, managing to match it's pace for about 6 city blocks. On a busy day in the city, riding a bike really is only marginally slower than driving.

Seeing as the one bicycling accessory I hadn't yet purchased was some sort of security device, the maiden destination in question was the local hardware store. Now see, the reason I was in the market for a new bike at all was because my previous item had been stolen. I do claim partial responsibility for this. Having little room in our townhouse to store large leisure equipment, I made the monumentally stupid decision to lock up my bike on our ground-floor patio with only a simple cable lock (known to Vancouver's finest as "Gift Wrapping") for 'protection'. So I wasn't about to mess around this time. Following the example of my brother in law, I picked up a 9 foot length of steel chain and one of the biggest, baddest padlocks I could find. Notwithstanding the difficulties of hauling 30 pounds of metal back to my place (thank god for those 600 Deniers), I felt satisfied with the end result after securing my bike for the night.

If they can get past the chain, the padlock, and the cement pillar, they can have what's left of the bike.